Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2015 11:47:59 GMT
'Well, at least I'm not a cat.'
It really, really did sadden Katarina that she could tick that off as a legitimately good reason to get up and out of bed.
Kat sighed as she lay down in her bed, hugging her tail solemnly. She tried to keep it together around the other guild members, tried to hide her discomfort, but the fact that she was no longer human still really got to her. Realistically, it really shouldn't. She should be happy! She was immortal, she couldn't die, well, she couldn't stay dead at the very least, and that was awesome! That was cool!
'That doesn't make up for what my body currently is.' she thought to herself. She kept telling herself it could've been worse; she could've picked a Werecat or made a really, really weird or disturbing avatar; unfortunately, it really didn't help her much. She still couldn't pass that boundary to acceptance; a boundary that took the form of those big letters on her status screen that read "Fox Tail". It wasn't a healthy way to think, but it wasn't like she could just ignore the issues; they keep cropping up again and again. Her ears and her tail were physical evidence of her species. She always supposed she could hide her fox parts, but even then, she knew. There was that little part of her subconscious that wouldn't stop nagging her on the fact she was what she was.
Kat pushed the thoughts aside. She really didn't want to think about this now. Getting up from her bed, she reached up to grab her staff, currently sitting on top of a cupboard. She went to grasp it, and...
Oh.
Kat sighed. A height drop really shouldn't be a big deal. Really, it shouldn't. So why did Kat always keep getting hit with a sense of "Everything's so big"?
Looking around the room, Kat found a box in the corner. Putting it in front of the cupboard, she stepped up and grabbed her staff, a part of her wondering how it even got up there in the first place. Upon grabbing it, Kat felt a sudden surge in mana. It was small surge, yes, but Kat could feel it all the same. She supposed that it was because Fox Tails always did excel when it came to matters of magic; she assumed that the feeling she gets was related to that in some way. It was just another thing that distanced her from her past human form.
'Wait, why am I angsting about this now?' she thought to herself, opening her room's door and stepping into one of the Cathedral's massive halls. "I've been in this game for over two years now, why am I-"
She paused as she heard herself speak, realising the answer. It was related to a very unsettling discovery she had made recently: She wasn't putting on a voice any more. High-pitched, feminine Kat voice? That was her normal voice. She didn't know if it was related to dying in-game, related to losing memories from death, or what, but it still disturbed her nevertheless. It wasn't just her voice either; everything from her mannerisms to her use of bloody gender pronouns were changing with time (she found herself equally accepting of "she" as "he" at this rate). Luckily, it didn't seem to spread to her sexuality (yet); she wasn't suddenly finding Kuro hot, but still. It worried her. Just what else would change?
She shook her head rapidly, in a desperate attempt to dispel the disquieting thoughts. 'I'll deal with it when the time comes.' she decided, moving quickly towards the stairs, and, perhaps more importantly, towards the bar. 'Fetch me a beer, barkeep, Joel needs a frickin drink...'
...She would awaken the next day with numerous empty bottles of alcohol near her and a splitting headache.
[Word Count: 644]
It really, really did sadden Katarina that she could tick that off as a legitimately good reason to get up and out of bed.
Kat sighed as she lay down in her bed, hugging her tail solemnly. She tried to keep it together around the other guild members, tried to hide her discomfort, but the fact that she was no longer human still really got to her. Realistically, it really shouldn't. She should be happy! She was immortal, she couldn't die, well, she couldn't stay dead at the very least, and that was awesome! That was cool!
'That doesn't make up for what my body currently is.' she thought to herself. She kept telling herself it could've been worse; she could've picked a Werecat or made a really, really weird or disturbing avatar; unfortunately, it really didn't help her much. She still couldn't pass that boundary to acceptance; a boundary that took the form of those big letters on her status screen that read "Fox Tail". It wasn't a healthy way to think, but it wasn't like she could just ignore the issues; they keep cropping up again and again. Her ears and her tail were physical evidence of her species. She always supposed she could hide her fox parts, but even then, she knew. There was that little part of her subconscious that wouldn't stop nagging her on the fact she was what she was.
Kat pushed the thoughts aside. She really didn't want to think about this now. Getting up from her bed, she reached up to grab her staff, currently sitting on top of a cupboard. She went to grasp it, and...
Oh.
Kat sighed. A height drop really shouldn't be a big deal. Really, it shouldn't. So why did Kat always keep getting hit with a sense of "Everything's so big"?
Looking around the room, Kat found a box in the corner. Putting it in front of the cupboard, she stepped up and grabbed her staff, a part of her wondering how it even got up there in the first place. Upon grabbing it, Kat felt a sudden surge in mana. It was small surge, yes, but Kat could feel it all the same. She supposed that it was because Fox Tails always did excel when it came to matters of magic; she assumed that the feeling she gets was related to that in some way. It was just another thing that distanced her from her past human form.
'Wait, why am I angsting about this now?' she thought to herself, opening her room's door and stepping into one of the Cathedral's massive halls. "I've been in this game for over two years now, why am I-"
She paused as she heard herself speak, realising the answer. It was related to a very unsettling discovery she had made recently: She wasn't putting on a voice any more. High-pitched, feminine Kat voice? That was her normal voice. She didn't know if it was related to dying in-game, related to losing memories from death, or what, but it still disturbed her nevertheless. It wasn't just her voice either; everything from her mannerisms to her use of bloody gender pronouns were changing with time (she found herself equally accepting of "she" as "he" at this rate). Luckily, it didn't seem to spread to her sexuality (yet); she wasn't suddenly finding Kuro hot, but still. It worried her. Just what else would change?
She shook her head rapidly, in a desperate attempt to dispel the disquieting thoughts. 'I'll deal with it when the time comes.' she decided, moving quickly towards the stairs, and, perhaps more importantly, towards the bar. 'Fetch me a beer, barkeep, Joel needs a frickin drink...'
...She would awaken the next day with numerous empty bottles of alcohol near her and a splitting headache.
[Word Count: 644]
