[Open | Quest 5/5] The Black Knight

[Deleted]

505 words HP 100%		Pet: -none- MP 100%
A frightful black knight stood in the middle of the land bridge which connected the Isle of Grain to the lands of Windsor. It stood there, unmoving, with its weapon- a great hammer; the weapon was as black as the armor and was a full head taller than its wielder. The size of the hammer was apparent though the exact length was not obvious because the weapon was slung over the knight’s left shoulder with the left arm keeping it in place. Notably, the black knight was not quite a knight but a samurai in a plated o-yoroi. Even the face was hidden by a dark mask and only two golden eyes scanned the area around the knight. Now, one thing that was noticeable about this so-called black knight was that it was incredibly short. Not quite a midget, but much shorter than the average male or female adventurer. One might wonder if it was a dwarf but the lack of the trademark stockiness of the body would say otherwise. Maybe it was a slim dwarf? Impossible. Anyway, a quest had been put up by an unnamed adventurer and the only credit was a guild name “Aeryn”. Its request was the following: Get Past the Black Knight (c/o Aeryn Guild Chef) The black knight will leave only if someone is able to get past it. I need my supplies, goddammit. Location: Land bridge to Isle of Grain Reward: 10,000 gold So who was the black knight? Why, none other than Caerbannog, of course. She had no better way to spend her time and so the samurai set off to test people and such. She thought it would be pretty cool to mix up two notable scenes from a cult movie too: one where the Black Knight stopped King Arthur from crossing a bridge, and one where an old coot asked questions three. Now, to anyone who approached (probably adventurers since the landers of Grain Village had taken care to stay away from the bridge in the mean time), the Black Samurai Knight would look crossly. She would then bring down her hammer upon the bridge, the impact enough to send vibrations through the earth but nothing serious enough to destroy the land bridge. On both sides, the waves were perilous for the water crashed against the natural pillars that held the bridge up. Also, there are Sahaugins and Mimics in the water so even going by boat isn’t too wise, much less swimming. The samurai had maximized the privacy of her viewable information so that only her name, level and class could be seen. Her pets were hidden as well since that might give away her identity. Anyone who knew her in person might be able to recognize her, but as for everyone else, they could only see the following information: Caerbannog Level 90 Samurai HP: 100% MP: 100% If they approached, she would ask in a voice as monotone and as flat as possible: “Thou shalt not pass. Defeat me in combat, or answer questions three.”

[Empyrean]

So it seemed that, going from context clues and asking around, that Empyrean was completely out of touch with the masses. Even the weakest people were higher level than him—yet, in fact, that was not his own fault. He wasn’t afflicted by sloth-like laziness, but rather given less time than those people. Turns out, he arrived here, or apparently arrived here, several months from whence the rest of the players—though they were called Adventurers—had been entrapped into this world. So, despite his confusion, he set out with the innate human urge to progress, to level, to make some semblance of advancement towards an ambiguous path— And this is where he ended up. Facing off a darkly-armored opponent, he stared at the scroll of barebones information that this supposed “quest” was for. Apparently, this “Black Knight” was blocking the path for traders, disallowing supplies to pass through. If that were the case, then shouldn’t a powerful Adventurer be able to stop them? However, glaring at the level— 「…Max rank already? …No, that’s ten below. But that was the cap from before the Novasphere Pioneers expansion.」 He couldn’t help but feel slightly perturbed, giving himself a moment of quiet thought before mentally thinking, “neep it, I’ll respawn later anyways,” and stepping up to greet the damn guy. He looked incredibly nooby, and was incredibly nooby, but it didn’t mean he was just gonna let all that effort he spent coming down the Thames go to waste. With his sword pulled behind his back to emphasize the fact that he meant no harm (after all, one only would wear it there for decorum and such), he hopped out of the cart that had been carrying him for a few hours, thanked the driver quickly, and sighed to get some oxygen into his lungs. 「Hey, Black Knight—or should I say, Caerbannog. I think I’ll take those supposed ‘questions three,’ if you don’t mind. Not much for combat, myself.」

最高天

HAMAIKA in spite of or in defiance of the whole of existence he wills to be himself with it, to take it along, almost defying his torment.

⌔

[Tobin]

(OOC: Brown is boar, green is Tobins natures tongue, blue is understandable speech. Sort of.)

Word Count: 593

“Another day, another introduction to write. I can’t even remember what happened in my last 6 threads.”

The stocky fellow murmured to himself as he rode his Gerald along the dirt track that lead to Grain Isle, the coconuts left a soft crack as the sound of horse hooves echoed down the now barren track. Why? Because he needs the grain so he can craft more depressants, that’s why! That and the board request that had been entitled to all had drawn his attention along this well used path. Though Tobin lacked the same sense of responsibility as either of the males in Aeryn, even the Dwarf admitted that a bored Caer hanging around the lone footpath connecting the grain isle to the main land was somewhat concerning. What would happen if the grain was cut off? The main ingredient of his moonshine would be greatly reduced! Thus Tobin had set up on his epic quest, mounted upon his mighty Gerald the Swagtusk, for the Stryder was the champion of all things alcoholic! He would not allow the common people of London suffer without-

"FOR RUTTS SAKE DWARF, STOP CLAPPING THOSE COCONUTS TOGETHER."

"No. Don't interrupt me while I am internally monologging!"

-booze for but a single day!

With that they proceeded on toward lands end (no, the actual end of the land not pub) the dwarf felt his heart quiver as he saw the outline of the foreign black plate in the distance. For a brief moment the memory of the time where a single punch had crippled him replayed in his subconscious mind, though his gaze remained fixed forwards towards the destination.

"Brave brave sir Tobin, he galently chicke-"

"NO I AM NOT."

Drawing a flask the dwarf proceeded onwards, draining the container of its potent contents before he slung it over the cliff, a loud rattle accompanied it’s journey into the waves. It was at this point he noticed the other, remarkably dashing fellow, though his absence of level made the dwarf sighed. There was always one Christmas newb coming along for the adventures, wasn’t there? The coconuts were discarded as the dwarf dismounted with a hop, and strolled up to where the land bridge narrowed with a stride broad, as Tobin stood before the black knight, a distinctive rumble that passed for laughter emitted from him as he put on a bold demeanour, regal just as well because internally he was bricking it as he was one of the few people that Caer had a height advantage over.


“I am King Dwarf, Lord of Liquards, on tha' quest fa ta holeh moonshine! Will thy join or imped me upon tis quest?"

The dwarf cocked his head back as he addressed her in a bold tone as a mild perspiration formed upon his forehead. With a soft sigh he prepared himself for the iconic scene, the black iron gauntlets he normally bore disappeared within his inventory and his right hand straightened out the red ashcot tie of swagness to appear more presentable. It was unlikely that mere words could move the distilled Samurai and more doubtful that he could beat the Black Knight in a fair fight, so questions, likely followed by a utter twitting seemed to be on the cards today.

“Very well, I will play thy game. Ask away.”

Perhaps it was because of his very rational fear of the Black Knight that he had tunnel vision, though in truth it seemed to the dwarf that he seemed very brave, or as silly as the fish slapping dance.

[Deleted]

455 words HP 100%		Pet: -none- MP 100%
At long last, a challenger appeared. A samurai by the name of Empyrean, and though his level was lacking, his spirit was not quite as low. The Black Knight paid no mind to the massive level gap between them. Level 1 or Level 90, everyone was welcome to challenge The Knight of the Land Bridge! In all its glory, the Black Knight was about to indulge in the exhilaration brought about by watching a helpless insect squirm in its grasp! Not. “Someone actually came here!” Caerbannog almost danced in place but she had to remain in character. To her relief, the other samurai asked for questions three and not for a duel, so she would not have bloody murder in her hands. The Black Knight remained in its position though and did not move an inch. It waited a few months for it espied a figure in the distance. Another challenger? Perhaps. And then it walked closer, and closer... until the figure was finally recognizable. “Dwarf... tsk,” the wolf-hair clicked her tongue from behind her face mask but made sure to keep her voice difficult to recognize. What was he doing at the Isle of Grain? He should be doing dwarfy things somewhere else! But if she shooed him away, then the other challenger would think it odd. Caerbannog had to continue her ruse than, lest she be exposed as nothing more than a vertically-challenged girl who’d had gotten bored of her idle days. She had to admit that the way that the Dwarf rode in was rather entertaining though, and it reminded her of that one movie with the coconuts and the swallows that could carry them. Her golden eyes, which were the only recognizable features aside from her height, squinted at the Dwarf when he too opted for the questions three. One would think that with his higher level, the rare specimen would start a fight (for honor and glory!) but nooooo- he wanted to join the quiz show portion. “Very well,” the samurai nodded at both adventurers, and then shifted her sight to Empyrean first, “To you, I ask...” Caerbannog waved at the monk as she spoke. “Is the Dwarf a man or a woman in real life?” asked the Black Knight, once again in a voice so monotone that Caer almost lost her breath. The Knight then tilted its head towards the Dwarf’s direction. “And to you, I ask...” Caer waved towards the other samurai as she barked out the question for the Dwarf, “Is that samurai a virgin?” Yep. Yeeeep. Socially-awkward questions. And we’re only at Question One for each adventurer. As soon as they showed signs of hesitation, the Black Knight would remind them. “If you do not answer questions three, then we shall duel!”

[Tobin]

(OOC: PM me if you have problems. I am sorry, feel free to screw me over in a simliar fastion. XD)

Word Count: 390

-What, the, hell? How am I meant to respond to this trick question?-

The regal, stone face that the dwarf had attempted to assume cracked as both of his eyebrows rose in a curious gesture. The issue with the question, beyond its highly personal nature was that it didn't matter whether the answer given was right or wrong, but was subjective depending on Empyrean's whims. Immediately there was three answers that sprung to mind, the one that he may go along with to preserve masculine pride, though it was a possibility that the fellow might sell the dwarf out. There was one that he believed to be true that may be denied. Then there was the third answer, the dwarf way.

The squat figure frowned as he turned away and turned his gaze to the sky as a broad hand combed through his beard. Then the figure tumbled behind the beautiful man abruptly as locked his hands together into a balled fist, both index and forefinger stood firm as he arruptly thrusted and with a loud thud, almost lifted the samurai the fists met rear with the crude motion. Much ouch. As the Samurai collapsed the dwarf drew another flask out and twisted the top off, pouring the ethanol over his fingers before the flask was diposited next to the stunned low levelled. The familiar rumbling from his chest emerged from his lips as the sharp blue stare met that of the 'black knight', the true answer rolled from his tongue as it was accompanied by a sly wink, loud laughter, and a loud golf clap that echoed through this deserted land bridge.

"Didn't mattur wha' he were befor', he an't now. Sorreh 'bout tha' fella, I arn't losin'."

Actually, Tobin wasn't quite that nasty, the two fingers had closed to make a fist and, aided by a breif activation of -acupuncture-, his thumb flicked out to tap touch a pressure point on his lower back, resulting in the excruciating pain that would likely cause him to fall, unless his willpower was that immense. All this was hidden behind the flamboyant mans body thus it was unlikely that she had seen the sleight of hand from the front.

-Hopefully the abruptness of the action meant she couldn’t analysis it, I wasn't about to jam my fingers up anywhere just to answer a question right.-

"Next, question."

[Saber]

Do you believe in ghosts?

“I swear… This fish better be here…” A light rumble escaped from Saber’s mouth as he casually wandered through the forest just alongside the Thames River. He stumbled a little, tired and weary from not sleeping well the previous night and because he had stuffed his face far too much for the first time in his life. It had been worth it in the end though. Those six eggs, five slices of buttered and jellied toast, three glasses of milk, five slices of bacon, and four sausage links, we not fueling his adventurous desire to head to the Ocean. Why was he going there? Because he had heard that there were sharks in this world, and not just any sharks; bit sharks. Yes, he was stumbling through the damned forest because he had heard a rumor of something that could potentially kill him… and he wanted to fight it. Essentially, it was the typical reason for his leaving of London for some strange, far off land.

But… that was honestly the only thing that drove Saber to go where he was going. Just the rumor of a shark. Nothing else, at least not this time. Though, he could probably say that he was curious too. In his travels away from London, Saber had peered down from a nearby mountain towards the ocean and had considered visiting. He obviously never did, seeing as he had never been there yet, but today was a good chance. The skies were pretty clear and he had woken up fairly early to make the trip out in. In addition to that, he had not come across any problems on his way so far. Many of the annoying monsters he expected to be here weren’t, and the ones that were had perished quite easily. Some had even run away from the Assassin when he appeared. That just made things easier for him (easier to continue on, as chasing them would mean wasted energy). Due to the good weather, his somewhat “happy” mood, and the lack of bumps, detours, and distractions in his path, Saber was making good time. If he could estimate it, he would be at the coastline in about thirty minutes.

Nope. Nope. Annnnd nope.

Upon curving the crest of a small hill he had been steadily climbing, Saber spotted something in his path, literally. Straight ahead from where he was, and directly in his way, were three adventurers. He had no idea who any of them were from where he was but he knew one thing; they were standing at the front of the bridge he needed to cross. He really, really didn’t want to interact with anyone just yet. The Assassin may have woken up three hours ago, but he felt like a caffeine addict who had not had their coffee; he really didn’t want to be bothered. If he was, the man knew he would probably get aggravated very easily. Still, he sucked it up. That bridge was the quickest way to get him to where he wanted to go. Hopefully by the time he walked up, they would be gone. Hopefully.

As expected because of his stupid luck, that “hope” was turned into “absolutely not, they’re gonna be there when you see them, and they’re gonna be there when you reach them. Deal with it you sad excuse for a human being”. And that was exactly what happened. As Saber walked towards the bridge, the three people seemed to just get more and more comfortable where they were standing. While that happened, the anticipation of them either walking away or crossing the bridge first slowly faded. Saber wasn’t even close to the bridge when he finally sighed heavily, coming to terms with the fact that he was going to have to deal with people now. Fantastic… He didn’t want that. He really didn’t need that. On the bright side, as Saber approached he was reassured by the fact that he didn’t know these people at all. If that were true, he would be able to slip right by them without saying a word or answering a question…

“God… Dammit.”

Just as he walked up, he heard the person in the black armor with his/her back to the bridge ask the other two players questions. All hope was now lost, and Saber stopped in his tracks. He could just turn around. Right now. He could just leave. Just… go back to London, not care about the sharks, not care about the beach, and just not care about life for the day. He could do that, very easily, with the push of a button. He didn’t even have to walk. He had a skill that would take him to London. There, he could just craft weapons all day or something. He could hide in his little underground library, read books, and do nothing all day. Yup. He could do that.

“I hate my life.” No you don’t, shut up.

A long, aggravated sigh slithered out from Saber’s lungs as he unwillingly approached the trio. He made it a point to stand off to the far right of the other two players facing the black player, and also stayed a decent distance away from the black… armored… Samurai… Knight… Person… what? Upon showing up, Saber realized what was going on, and it was as if someone had flipped the switch and turned on the lights. Underneath that armor… was Caerbannog. She had effectively hidden her face and her body, but her name was still visible and she was still short. This… This was hell, wasn’t it?

“Can I just… go across the bridge…? Please?” He spoke in a slightly annoyed tone and even pinched the bridge of his nose as he held back a self-created migraine. He pressed his nose against the cloth which covered half of his face and pulled his hood down, covering up his own vision as he attempted to ignore it. It wasn’t going to go away though. This wasn’t a dream. He was here. And this was happening. Dammit. Caer.

“I might just walk off.” Saber looked to his right to see the edge of the cliff. Yea, he could do that too. And he was seriously considering it.

: Post Title :
-Dammit Caer-

: Word Count :
1041

: Skills Used :
N/A

: Tagged :
Saber, @dindeen, Tobin, Empyrean

: Notes :
Saber has arrived. Time to hide your wives.

Coded By Saber of L33T T3@M

[Emmerich]

Emmerich visited Grain Village to restock his supply of restorative potions, which he had burned through on his grinding session in the Thames Marshland. The guardian walked through the village, with a smile on his face as his bright blue eyes darted from building to building in search of an shop with a potion icon just above the door. After minutes of searching his settled on the Quest Board he beyond some meters away from his left side. Curious, he decided to take a glance at it, nothing more. But, however, that curiously soon led him into becoming interested in the quest, as he read through it all. 

"An challenge on the bridge, eh?" 

He said to himself aloud, totally unaware of some judging stares from people who'd frowned on that sorta of behavior. But back to Emmerch. Through his interface, he added the contents of the Quest Scroll into his list of Quests. There was a little chime that played after he placed it into his list. Once that was out of the way, he would find the nearest NPC owned shop, buy a bunch and left the village for the bridge outside. When he gotten over the meeting place he saw that there were other adventurers near the bridge. His eyes brighten up with excitement upon the sight of the others. 

"Hey everyone!" Ememrich said with a smile and a friendly gesture of his hand as he greeted everyone present on the bridge.

"Hope I'm not late."

Among the group of Adventurers, Emmerich saw a familiar face. 

"Good to see you, Tobin. You're looking well and strong today." He could see from the dwarf's character info that he has indeed shot up a couple levels since their last adventure. 

His curious eyes scanned the area, he even toggled on his Battle Perception ability on as he did, but there were no signs of this 'Black Knight'. He gave a disappointed sigh and turned to the others.

"So how long you guys were waiting for Black Knight to show up?" he asked looking over Tobin. 

After he asked the dwarf, he turned his sights over to the other heavily armored adventurer besides himself, who really seemed not want to show their face.

"How about you there? Have you seen the Black Knight?" he asked the hammer welding, heavy armored adventurer. He stood there, with his large size looming over them while he smiled down on them, as he awaited for their answer.

---

Word Count: 413
Tags: @dindeen Empyrean Tobin Saber

[Deleted]

Nothaveld had been walking down the river Thames for the long part of a day. Time for messing around and putting off leveling has ended, time for her to get down to business. That meant leaving the city and doing something. While running around the city and seeing what everyone been doing since the Apocalypse is an adventure in itself, there was more to be had by leaving the safety of the city's protection area and actually exploring the area. It wasn't combat that Nothaveld wanted to train first, though. She wanted to train her woodcutting subclass because she had never played a character with this particular subclass. And with the Apocalypse, she had no idea what was the best way to train it. So she figured walking down, then back up the river would have been a good way to collect driftwood to carve later, since she didn't have a hatchet to hack away at tree branches just yet. She didn't have a knife to whittle the wood either... problems she will solve when she gets back to London! She was broke. So walking down the river and running like hell if a monster attacks her is the summary of what she's been doing for several hours now. She'll probably be forced to fight something eventually, but she doesn't want to waste valuable wood collecting time. She managed to find a few chunks of wood that would fit in her bag, so she lifted them up out of the muddy waters of the Thames and left them to sit and dry on the grass near by where she found them, making a mental note to pick them up when she passed by on her way back tomorrow, she planned to stay at a village inn when the sun set. Oh wait, that meant that she needed money now... She hit herself on her head for not thinking about that little detail.

She's wearing just her starter cloth armor clothes. Again, no money to buy anything else except food when needed, though she would also just ask People of the Land for free food as well. At least the start screen let her customize her starter clothes a little bit before the Apocalypse happened. She was wearing a white top of thick cloth that tucked under the waist of her skirt. It covered the important bits over her body in thicker cloth, mainly her joints, chest, and stomach. But it was already starting to loosen in several spots. Her skirt was lavender and cut off below her knees. For shoes, she was just wearing basic brown boots. Her legs were already covered in small scratches from walking into the thick overgrowth around the river. In her left hand, using it like a walking stick, was her halberd, the axe and spear part of which towered above her head a good two feet.

In the distance, she could see what looked like the ocean and an island. She wasn't too familiar with England's geography, so she wasn't sure how far she'd already walked today. She found several farm houses on the way here. If she's polite, maybe she could stay the night in one if this really is where the Thames hits the ocean. As she got closer, she could see five people standing at the start of a strip of land over a cliff? Weird, but interesting! She wanted to meet these people now, so she started running toward them. She ran up to the group as fast as she could and ended up bumping into the back of the human in leather armor trying to slow herself down and so she wouldn't fall over. "Sorry! Excuse me! What's going on here? Is this a party I wasn't invited to? Can I come anyway?"

She scanned the group and saw a fellow dwarf riding a pig and another in heavy black armor with a hammer over her shoulder. "Whoah! Two dwarfs! I hardly ever see others like me!"

[Deleted]

410 words HP 100%		Pet: Hyzenthlay MP 100%
“A clever answer,” the Black Knight said in response to the unfortunate attack on Empyrean, “Minus ten points to Dwarf. Because Dwarf.” Between the butt attack, the sudden and unexpected arrival of Saber, the guardian Emmerich who walked in on the party from Grain Village, and the appearance of the other dwarf @nothaveld, Caerbannog could scarce believe her eyes. It was as if everything that could go wrong already went wrong, and everything weird had converged into one place... and it was perfect. The sheer randomness of it all was exactly what the samurai had in mind. “New targets acquired,” the Knight said as the others arrived. It nodded towards Saber: “Crankypants.” “Other-Dwarf,” the Knight nodded towards Nothaveld. The Black Knight then glanced sideways to Emmerich: “Directionally-challenged Guardian.” “None of you shalt pass. Face me in combat, or answer questions three.” Looking at the number of people in the group though, it would take forever to ask each and every one of them a question, and so Caerbannog scratch her mask’s chin with her free hand. “Or, better yet... work together to answer questions three.” The Black Knight then waved in front of it, while in truth, Caerbannog was using her interface to summon her fearsome pet. “Behold!” the Knight proclaimed as a creature took form about two paces in front of it, “The Beast of Caerbannog!” Hyzenthlay appeared. She looked at the adventurers in front of her, and also at the one adventurer behind Caer. The enemic buster immediately noticed her mortal enemy: The Dwarf. She menacingly waved at bearded adventurer and despite the difference in levels, she wanted to tear his limbs apart. “Use your tornado if anyone attacks,” the Black Knight spoke using the Tongue of Nature, to which the rabbit nodded. “Your question,” the Knight then spoke to the adventurers in attendance, “Did the bearded Dwarf have inappropriate affairs with this enemic buster?” The rabbit understood little of what Caerbannog said, and she only noticed the word ‘dwarf’. Naturally, she looked straight at Aeryn’s sole dwarf member and waved her club at him. Now, this could have many interpretations but it was obvious that the enemic buster recognized Tobin out of the whole lot of adventurers. How this would be interpreted would be up to them. Or they could try to pass by the Black Knight some other way. They could try to toss someone overhead, perhaps? But then, there’s the danger of the looming Great Hammer.

[Tobin]

(OOC: Sorry if the post isn’t my best, I found the amount of replies overwhelming. XD)

Word Count: 862

Laughter was Tobin’s response to Caer’s comment, not that gentle rumbling chuckle that he usually gave, but a great big villainous, British laugh. To give an analogy, it was the kind of laughter that a villain would give when chucking the heroic agent into a fish tank full of sharks, with lasors attached to the side of their heads. It was only after that laugh that he dignified a response.

“Oaf course, I be not just a pretteh face ya know lassie.”

After his last sentence, a sharp chill crept up his spine as attention arruptly became aware of a cloaked presence to his far right. There was a subconscious twitch in the right arm as the dwarf restrained the instinct to lash out, as it was rare that anything surprised the dwarf to this extent.

-How did he even get this close without me noticing? Even Kumori never managed to sneak up on me like that, and he stalks his wife!-

The discerning stare of the dwarf fell on the ragged person, a eyebrow raised as he checked him over. Tobin couldn’t have possibly known everyone in this server by name, however the level of this mysterious assassin that further fanned the flame of curiosity as it was rare that the Dwarf didn’t know any fellow of his calibre, Caer drew more high levelled bodies then nerds in a lollicon convention after all. Yet there was something profoundly unsettling about this individual that hid under the concealing robes, in the comparable to the way that @chain had projected an unreadable aura that concealed a underlying madness. A case of the elderberries.

-Gah, it’s a quest, of course strong players will show up. Perhaps with him I might stand a chance against Caer, though, there’s something I can’t put my finger on.-

“If et were tha’ simple buddeh, I wouldn’t be answerin’ ‘ere questions on ta bridge ‘ere.” A rumbling chuckle erupted from his lips he spoke directly to the assassin, though it carried a weary tone. “If yah help us, passage will come quickeh, ya talkin’ ta tha’ one and onleh Dwarf ya know.”

It was like a comedy skit (heyheyy!) at this point that the Guardian followed by a Dwarf. Not to disrespect the guardian, or indeed anyone present that day, but Tobin’s entire attention for the moment settled upon the female figure that had barged in, his mouth agape as the bold, 5 lettered race danced across his eyes.

“A-anothur, Dwarf? I –ha-d thought I-” Suddenly the big (vertically challenged) fellow’s eyes began to well up, a shake of the head and a forced laugh removed that moment of sentiment “It took me, five months to find another- Gah, nevar mind, there’s room in tis parteh. We have ta get tha’ highest level player to move.” With that, and the newest party of mismatched party of the Spanish inquisition was assembled, ready for the question.

The reaction of the dwarf to the rabbit was instantous, the flicker of a frown and the twitch of his nose spoke volumes of his thoughts on the question. If the intention had been to provoke the fellow, it had certainly succeeded.

“One moment.”

-Second question directed at me in a row. What is it that makes me so amusing to take the brunt of the jo- Wait, don’t even answer that author, because Dwarf. I know the answer, but first I will ponder it needlessly for 21 seconds, which is 7 x 5, NO 3, and the meaning of life is 7 x 6.-

And thus the dwarf did precisely that, the beard was stroked precisely thrice five times as another flask of moonshine was drained. Enough time for people to either wonder, ask questions, give an answer or alternatively consider jumping off the cliff while having a detailed discussion with a potted plant. It was entirely at the player’s digression. Finally he opened his mouth on the 21th second, his gaze fixed on the beast.

“I guss so. Any contact with the mammal wud considered inappropriate, easpically that time I threw it and you into the swamp water. Her fur were never quite the same aftur tha’ day, was it thur, Hyz?” The dwarf flicked his head back with a rised eyebrow; the loud cracking of knuckles carried a rare challenge. “Now I think ‘bout it, white and blue were the colours oaf ta day, if ya know what I mean Caer.”

Yup, Tobin had referred to the colour of certain undergarment. Could he get the knight to break her vow of honour? The Dwarf saw that in himself a personal challenge, the dare devil within him craved the glory and dared to prod the strongest player on the server. For all his rashness the dwarf still hadn’t been provoked enough, as the black knight had been a pillar of existence that guided and abused him from his early days, so perhaps it was understandable that even at this point the rash fellow exercised an unusually degree of self-restraint. For Dwarf anyway.

-I doubt I will make it off these cliffs unmolested today. Normally I get thrown anyways in the thread credits.-

“Ya last question?”

[Saber]

Do you believe in ghosts?

The situation at hand was one that Saber should have expected. He was now fallen prey to the schemes of the short woman whom he had met earlier at a blacksmith shop, but he could tell that he had met her long before that. From that brief meeting, Saber was able to discern that she was a cute and kind little lady, which was why he probably figured he had met with her before. However, this time it was neither of those traits which had brought him here today. This time, she was in his way and had chosen the most perfect spot to do so as he could not walk around her very easily. Whether she wanted to do this on purpose after stalking him or had done so by accident didn’t matter. What did matter was the fact that she probably was not going to let him by very easily, even though he didn’t even want to participate in the current game that was being played. Under that cute, kind, quiet face was a woman who would probably claw his face off if he tried anything rash or attempted to strut by her. Yet, the thought of just planting his hand on her face and keeping her at arm’s length away crossed his mind. If he did that, the best she could probably do was flail at him. The man’s eyes narrowed on the “knight”, but as he did so, he was addressed by the Dwarf.

Glancing over at the, also very short, being, Saber raised his eyebrows and grimaced beneath his scarf. Help? Saber didn’t want to help. Saber wanted to get by. That was what he wanted. Saber would have thrown the Dwarf off the cliff, punted Caer, and denied the other person quietly standing by any actions, if it meant being able to be on his merry way. However, doing so would take a lot of work. Said work would take energy, and that energy he wanted to put towards doing something productive. Like actually fighting that shark he had heard about because fighting that shark would actually get him stuff. Standing here would get him nothing but a want to push the little lady off the cliff, or just jump off himself. He wanted the shark, not the short end of the stick, but he wasn’t going to get that shark. No he wasn’t going to get it because there was someone else coming across the bridge. There was also someone coming up behind to his left. No, he wasn’t going to get that shark because this was about to become a clusterneep of weird adventurers who had been gathered because Caer was internally a massive sadist.

neep everything.

“You don’t even know how simple the solution to this is…” Saber mumbled to himself as the man who appeared over the bridge was not so far away. He was actually pretty close, but Saber was internally begging that he wasn’t. That begging fell on deaf ears however as the Guardian initiated contact with the group; he gave his hello, stated his hope of not being late (if you could even be late to this), and then greeted his friend; Tobin. The Dwarf was named Tobin. The hell kind of a name was Tobin? It sounded more like Toby… Toby. Saber liked it. He would call that Dwarf Toby. But aside from the Guardian, it seemed Saber’s next obstacle for the day was another short-stack player; a female Dwarf. Apparently she was a new face around here, as Toby reacted very strangely to her appearance. As if she was a new person period. However, Saber oculdn’t tell the difference. To him, everyone was a new face.

Yet, this new female Dwarf had a bit of a humor to her speech, and she probably didn’t know it. Saber knew who this Black Knight was simply because of her size and the tone of her voice, he didn’t even need to see Caer’s name to know who she was. Now, he didn’t know her race exactly and believed her to be of the Human type (but we all know that isn’t true), but this new female Dwarf called Caer one of her fellow species. She called Caer a Dwarf. At the mere mentioning of that, Saber let out a stifled laugh, and it sounded as if he had been punched in the stomach. He wanted to burst out and just sing bells of joy as he laughed, but he kept it inside. Instead, he let out a light cackle and some laughs through his teeth. He didn’t let the hardly fought laughs last long though, and quickly pulled himself together so that he could focus on the task at hand; getting rid of the Black Knight in his way.

Once everyone was together and settled, the Knight seemed determined to continue playing with the people she had brought together. Saber narrowed his eyes on her and began listening intently to her words. At first, she called them targets, and then she called him… crankypants… At the sound, Saber let out a sigh and shook his head. This was supposed to be a serious issue but Saber could not, seriously could not, form a thread of seriousness from any of this. The was Toby riding a pig, short stuff Caer trying to be a mighty Black Knight, another player appearing from the opposite side of the bridge, and a second Dwarf in the mix. God dammit that cliff jumping option was looking so freaking appealing right now, but he wasn’t one to give up so easily. Sort of. So Saber stuck around to hear the que—

“The neep?” The curse fell out of Saber’s mouth almost subconsciously as he heard what the Black Knight had requested. First, she had summoned a rabbit thing with a giant hammer, calling it the Beast of Caerbannog. Said rabbit thing eyed Toby with a ferocity that Saber could only describe as “this rabbit is pissed”. It looked at everyone, including Saber, but was quite more intent on looking at the Dwarf on the pig. Saber wiggled his nose at the sight and then sighed once again. He stepped forward from his spot off to the side and very quickly reached passed the rabbit. Without a weapon in hand, Saber placed his hand on top of the Black Knight’s helmet and then tilted it down, blocking Caer’s vision.

“Name calling isn’t nice, Chibi Knight.” He rumbled the words softly to the little lady and then quickly moved away to avoid engaging the rabbit and to try and not get its attention period. Doing so would probably make Caer very sad. Well, at least they would have rabbit stew later. Or maybe barbecue hare… Barbecue… hare… Caer… Barbecue Caer… Caer had asked about sexual relations between Dwarf and the Rabbit, but Saber looked at Caer and envisioned her nude… and covered in the deliciousness that was barbecue sauce. Saber’s stomach turned a little; he bet she would taste delicious.

But, that was for another time. Saber looked away from the Black Knight and then towards the Dwarf Toby and the Rabbit known as the Beast. The two of them seemed to have quite the backstory, and from how the Rabbit was reacting Saber did not doubt anything. There were several options of reasoning behind the Rabbit’s angry movements. One, the Dwarf could have abused it inappropriately. Two, the Dwarf could have attacked Caer. Doing so would obviously anger any of her underlings, unless they were the peaceful type. Three, the Dwarf could have attacked the Rabbit. Four, the Dwarf could have attacked a friend of the Rabbit’s, or even its family. Out of all the choices, Saber gave the Dwarf the benefit of the doubt; he didn’t attack Caer. Doing so would be suicide, for him at least. That left the three other choices; bad touch, family touch, painful touch. All three would incite aggression from the Rabbit. However, the levels of aggression would most likely vary.

If the Dwarf had performed the family touch, the Rabbit probably would have attempted to rip the Dwarf in half instantly upon seeing him. The rabbit had not and was simply staring menacingly at the Pig-rider. If the Dwarf had performed painful touch, the Rabbit might have reacted by being more defensive. This aggression was exactly that, aggression; the Rabbit was on the verge of assaulting the Dwarf but was most likely held back because of Caer’s taming skills. That left one option; bad touch. To Saber, that was the best answer with the situation at hand. If he was wrong, then so be it. How many wrong answers could he get anyways before Caer decided to draw her swords? In fact, Saber welcomed it. He doubted that Samurai could attack everyone at once. During the time she didn’t go after Saber, he would be on his merry way.

“Dwarf touched the rabbit.” Saber said bluntly, looking at the Male Pig-rider with bored eyes. If that was true, Saber honestly felt bad for both parties. Bad for the rabbit because she had been touched without giving consent, and bad for the Dwarf because he had gone so far as to touch a rabbit inappropriately. Really guys? We were resorting to that kind of stuff? REALLY?!

Then, shortly after Saber gave his answer, the Dwarf pretty much confirmed his cruel act and began to speak. Though, as he spoke every word, Saber felt the tinge of a migraine returning. He let out a deep groan and looked towards Caer in a very, very unsettled way. Blue and white, eh? So… she was into the flowing rivers kind of style...

Saber could see it.

: Post Title :
-Between Stupid and a Dumb place-

: Word Count :
1625

: Skills Used :
N/A

: Tagged :
Saber, @dindeen, Tobin, Empyrean, Emmerich, @nothaveld

: Notes :
Dwarf performed Bad Touch. It's super effective.

Coded By Saber of L33T T3@M

[Emmerich]

Emmerich just laughed when he was called a "Directionally-challenged Guardian." by the little armored guy. When he heard them threating combat unless they answered some questions, he finally figured that this might be the "black knight" that was stated within the quest scroll he accected. He had to admit, he definitively expected this guy to be taller, much taller. But who was he to judge? Tobin was a dwarf, but he didn't need to put on a show to get others to acknowledge his strength, unlike this guy. They seemed a bit desperate. He felt some pity for the "Black Knight"  He might as well play along. So he put on a determined face and looked down at the diminutive knight, with serious armor piercing gaze. 

"Fine then, Sir Black Knight. State your questions three!" he said to them in his most heroic and hammy voice he could muster, as he channeled in his inner knight. "OK, maybe this guy had the right idea. This is kinda fun.", He would continue on with this act, even after the Black Knight had summoned their Beast of Battle to aid them. And by 'Beast of Battle', it was a white rabbit carrying a big club. "Ah! Such a fierce creature you have there. But I won't be warded away that easily! Now if you please, state your questions three!" What did managed to make him break his character however, what the Black Knight following question. Emmerich stood there with his mouth agape when the miniture black knight made their accusation of Tobin, of all people, doing something to their beast of battle, which was still a rabbit. When he regained his composure, his eyes turned over to the Dwarf.

"No. No. Y-you couldn't of done something like that?" he thought, as he looked at him with questioning eyes.

Tobin's reply managed to get his mind out of the gutter. Apparently, he threw the rabbit into swamp water. Emmerich felt relived by his, his reply. But who was this Caer person? He remembers the name, but could remember what face belonged to it. And what was all this talk of white and blue? Was it some sort of secret code? He waited to see what would the Black Knight's response be.

---

Word Count: 378
Tags: @dindeen Empyrean Tobin Saber

[Deleted]

"Last question? Aww, I already missed the first one? That's no fair... Can I get a free question?" This really had turned into a game for her, despite the fact that she was only level 1 and the knight was threatening to fight. It's not like death had any lasting consequences that she knew of. She didn't have any cash on her to lose. If anything, it would be a free trip back to Londin, but then she wouldn't have the driftwood chunks she laid out to dry up the river. So she would have to walk all the way back here anyway, then back up. Okay, so dying probably wasn't the best option for fast travel.

Of course, that thought didn't actually go through her head. That's the kind of thought process her old self would be using, Leah Thomson. Nothaveld's quick-thinking self always skipped those little details. Especially now that there was a cute critter right in front of her. She completely forgot about whatever question what just asked and went into a wide-eyed trance. She fidgeted her feet and just starred at the rabbit creature, wanting to touch it, pet it, cuddle it, and all sorts to that furry thing. It was roughly the size of a small-medium dog, which made it about a foot or two shorter than herself. "AaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaawww! It's adorable!" She squealed. She let go of her halberd, it falling over but not hitting anyone, and trotted up to the bunny thing, immediately trying to pet it like a dog on the head, behind the ears.

Okay, now, one of two things are now probably going to happen to the dwarf without foresight. Either the large rabbit is going to let Nothaveld pet it innocently, she was unarmed and at a significant level disadvantage, or the only thing Nothaveld is going to be touching of the enemic buster is the broad side of that club, which has probably already clubbed another dwarf in the past, one without such innocent intentions. Regardless, Nothaveld didn't consider this. The only thing running through her mind right now is "fluffy thing, I need to pet it!" Such is the crux of Nothaveld.

If she hadn't been beaten to a pulp for touching the rabbit, she would continue to pet it around the ears for about thirty seconds. Then she'd kneel and wrap her arms around the creature, burying her face in its mane, then she'd just return to petting it from it's head down its back, then up at the head again. "Kay, I don't need to cross the bridge any more. I'll just pet this little furry thing all night."

@dindeen

[Deleted]

540 words HP 100%		Pet: Hyzenthlay MP 100%
The Black Knight stood firmly and without a word even as the Dwarf, in his weird accent, tried to be chatty with the Knight and the party. It seemed that the presence of a female dwarf was news to him as we- wait, did Other-Dwarf just take a jab at the Black Knight’s height? Caer’s eyes narrowed down to slits behind her mask but she stood her ground. It was all still good; Hyzenthlay seemed to be able to ward off the other players at least. Except Saber. Goddammit. The assassin even had the gall to hop past the rabbit and make fun of the Black Knight both by pulling her helmet down AND by calling her chibi. If she had not been intent on keeping up her appearance, Caerbannog would have headbutted Mister Crankypants. But no, she had to play the part of the Black Knight. And so the samurai merely shifted her helmet back up to its proper placement, and waved for Hyzenthlay to remain steady. The directionally-challenged guardian Emmerich at least was not as bold as Dwarf or Saber, so that was one thing off of the Knight’s mind. In her thoughts, Caer had already tossed the Dwarf at the assassin and kicked them both off the cliff as she yelled “THIS IS SPARTA!” ... but outwardly, the Black Knight just remained rooted to her spot. When the Other-Dwarf @nothaveld approached her and Hyzenthlay though, the Knight almost sighed thinking that this was yet another bold one. But it seemed that the only female in the group of adventurers who went up against the Black Knight had other ideas. She petted the fluffy bunny, hugged it and squeezed it and petted it again. Hyzenthlay was confused. So very confused. Her tail drooped to one side and it seemed to have formed a question mark. She was the Beast of Caerbannog! Frenmic rabbits kneeled before her! But what the Other-Dwarf was doing was not an attack, Hyzen knew that much because her tamer had held her the same way and made the weird cooing sounds too. If it was anyone else aside from the Black Knight and the Other-Dwarf though, they would not have gotten past putting a finger on her fur. And so with this scenario playing out, the Black Knight presented the final question: “Why-“ the Knight began. “-is the Other Dwarf not getting clubbed on the face?” was the last query for the group. Now, there were many reasons that the adventurers could present. Most especially the Dwarf who had a hand in Hyzenthlay’s taming... that guy probably had a lot of theories in mind. But if there was anything “personal” that Caerbannog knew about her enemic buster, it was that Hyzenthlay was a feminazi. She was a sexist little b*tch for no good reason. Okay, so maybe having been inappropriately touched by the Dwarf and having been “marked” by Hrairoo just made her snap; but even before then, Hyzenthlay had a skewed point of view of the matriarchal warren that she spawn in. Caerbannog loved the little bundle of fur and man-hate though, and she was relieved that despite the rabbit’s nature, Hyzen listened to her tamer even if it meant being “nice” to men.

[Tobin]

(OOC: Forgiveness is requested if this post lacks my usual funny, pm me for a refund. XD)

Wc: 712

Saber. A name as sharp as a blade of grass. A simple mention of the curved blade conjured imagery of grandiose in the mind’s eye, the choice of weapon for rogues and pirates, the steel itself a large board surface that carried a reflective sheen that turned aside the light, so that as it sliced through the air the blade became a shimmering river of sliver, elusive to the naked eye. it's elegance matched only by the cut of its bite. In a manner most queer tis title was quite a fitting name for the stranger, as the fellow seemed to causally turn aside all reason in a matter that even dwarf couldn't entirely comprehend. From the way his presence seemed to flicker in his conscious mind, the fellow seemed to elude a certain shadowy charisma that oozed deep mystery. Tobin frowned; tis presence certainly couldn't be considered charming as the stranger curiously seemed to only commutate sparingly in disjointed mumbles, yet mystery was his veil, a high quality fabric that the elf had woven above his shabby gear to appear dangerous.

-my my, what a fancy cosplayer-

Then, as Tobin then went to chuckle, the assassin disappeared like the flickering of flame only to shimmer before Caer, a causal flip of the helmet accompanied the delivery of the bite with the smooth sliver of the tongue. In watching the Dwarf had found that the air had caught in his throat and with a delicate motion released it in a gentle sigh, tis wasn't that frequent that the dwarf found himself surprised yet he was curious of the stranger that bore familiarity with Caer, yet the Dwarf was certain that he had not seen a fellow like this before. It was strange, though the little Lady tended to swallow more then she talked thus it didn’t seem all that unusual that he didn’t know all of her acquaintances.

-Oi, I was talking about ethanol based drinks, pervert-

-Saber... A fitting name, just, who is he?-

Such thoughts were soon trivialised by the ever present threat of Caerneage, yet it never came as the lass flipped her helmet up and quietly resumed her stodic standoff. The responces to the question seemed to be quite predictable. Saber didn’t seem to partically care as his deadpan stare considered the dwarf. Emmerich chose to give no response to the question, instead choosing to look horrified of the implications because evidently everyone thought that Dwarf was desperate enough to get some bunny and the other dwarf-

“Wait, wha’ ya doing lassie?”

In amidst this careful consideration of this question, the lass had chosen to ignore self-preservation protocols and had chosen to grapple the ferocious beast in her mighty hands! Or more close to the fact chose to cuddle the murderous bunny, perhaps stranger still the tactic had actually worked, pacifying the mighty beast without the use of a certain holy orb. The dwarf’s mighty maw fell open for even he had been unable to do that and he was an actual animal tamer! Tis was perhaps less surprising when the Samurai and the bunny allowed the gesture to go contested and as the last question was spoken out, the Dwarf gave an inward sigh of relief.

-Thank Christ, this question isn’t directly about me, what am I, the comic relief here- oh wait, I am.-

The stocky fellow gave a shrug as he spoke his answer. In the months that the dwarf had known the rabbit there was many things he could say, about that time that he manhandled the beast to bring it under control for Caer to tame, or perhaps that time he chucked it in the swamp. No, the answer was simpler then that since the thing seemed to hate even Kumori though he was less offensive then a puppy in a pet store, and even a puppy had more bite. The dwarf chuckled as he waved his hand around, his answer quite simple.

“Most of us ‘ere are dicks, excludin’ tha’ lassie and you, ya just ta othar thing I can’t say because it isn’t pg-13;” He chuckled as he pointed at the black knight and chuckled. “Tis be the short answur, if ya want I can go on fa quite a while, lassie.”