Half-Alv
Summoner
Gold:
Blacksmith
Animal Tamer
Guild:
|
Post by Saber on Mar 7, 2016 19:32:07 GMT
Santa Saber is fashioning gifts. Find yours below! If it's not up, it's not ready so don't ask or you'll get coal.Zelenin - Your Christmas craft is being prepared. It will be finished shortly. Darya -- Level 12 Knife -- Strong, one must be, in face of enemy. Power and strength will help you see next day. But no dumb. No be dumb, or you will end up like Streya. Streya has no leg and now must walk like cripple. Walk like cripple gets you laughed at. Be strong. Hold head high. Fight with heart and muscle. But no dumb. Or you end up like Streya.
This weapon is a thin, extremely sharp blade forged and molded to follow the shape of another blade found in a tundra; a shashka. The blade, abandoned and left behind in the torrent of snow, is one that had traveled a long way from home. Lost to time, it remained in his white tomb until it was stumbled upon by a curious adventurer. This blade, an oversized knife that takes the same shape of a sabre, is a replica of that lost blade. Its shape does not reflect those of the British Isle and its style is much sleeker. Its single edge, guardless handle, and hooked pommel are characteristics of a civilization that once may have attempted to conquer the oversized stone island. The Funeral Parlor emblem is engraved into the base of the pommel.
[b][u]Darya[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 12 Knife[/i] -- Strong, one must be, in face of enemy. Power and strength will help you see next day. But no dumb. No be dumb, or you will end up like Streya. Streya has no leg and now must walk like cripple. Walk like cripple gets you laughed at. Be strong. Hold head high. Fight with heart and muscle. But no dumb. Or you end up like Streya.
This weapon is a thin, extremely sharp blade forged and molded to follow the shape of another blade found in a tundra; a shashka. The blade, abandoned and left behind in the torrent of snow, is one that had traveled a long way from home. Lost to time, it remained in his white tomb until it was stumbled upon by a curious adventurer. This blade, an oversized knife that takes the same shape of a sabre, is a replica of that lost blade. Its shape does not reflect those of the British Isle and its style is much sleeker. Its single edge, guardless handle, and hooked pommel are characteristics of a civilization that once may have attempted to conquer the oversized stone island. The Funeral Parlor emblem is engraved into the base of the pommel.
The Tryhard's Tool -- Level 12 One Handed Axe -- What do people like to do? Throw things. We love to throw things. What do people also like to do? We like to kill each other. So what happened? Exactly what you think. We made a thing we could throw that we could kill each other with. The Tomahawk. But this isn't any tomahawk. Oh no, this is a special Tomahawk. With a capital 'T'. This Tomahawk was used by a foolish Adventurer who thought it would be okay to challenge Zeus to a throwing contest. He argued that if he could throw it more accurately than Zeus could throw his lightning bolt and kill someone on impact, he was more suited to be a God.
He lost. Zeus banished him to Hades to throw boulders for eternity. The end.
This Tomahawk is a basic tomahawk but there is a lightning bolt engraved into the left side of the axe head. On the right side, there is a symbol with a single meaning to it; "Tryhard". The Funeral Parlor emblem is etched into the bottom of the pommel, but it's covered up by a piece of leather (out of shame).
[b][u]The Tryhard's Tool[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 12 One Handed Axe[/i] -- What do people like to do? Throw things. We love to throw things. What do people also like to do? We like to kill each other. So what happened? Exactly what you think. We made a thing we could throw that we could kill each other with. The Tomahawk. But this isn't any tomahawk. Oh no, this is a special Tomahawk. With a capital 'T'. This Tomahawk was used by a foolish Adventurer who thought it would be okay to challenge Zeus to a throwing contest. He argued that if he could throw it more accurately than Zeus could throw his lightning bolt and kill someone on impact, he was more suited to be a God.
He lost. Zeus banished him to Hades to throw boulders for eternity. The end.
This Tomahawk is a basic tomahawk but there is a lightning bolt engraved into the left side of the axe head. On the right side, there is a symbol with a single meaning to it; "Tryhard". The Funeral Parlor emblem is etched into the bottom of the pommel, but it's covered up by a piece of leather (out of shame).
Sisu -- Level 12 Cloth Armor -- ”Extraordinary determination, courage and resoluteness in the face of extreme adversity.” A black turtleneck and matching pair of leggings under a white tunic, accompanied by fingerless white gloves, grey boots, and a turquoise jacket. The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the lower right hip of the tunic.
Reforges: Level 12 Movement Speed Increase (+3%)
[b][u]Sisu[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 12 Cloth Armor[/i] -- [i]”Extraordinary determination, courage and resoluteness in the face of extreme adversity.”[/i] A black turtleneck and matching pair of leggings under a white tunic, accompanied by fingerless white gloves, grey boots, and a turquoise jacket. The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the lower right hip of the tunic.
[i]Reforges: [font color="32e619"]Level 12 Movement Speed Increase (+3%)[/font][/i]
Capsule - fckin yer shit up, fam. Standby. The Christmas Stick -- Level 10 Club -- Because sometimes, the spirit of Christmas comes a little late. But that's okay because Christmas is Christmas. This weapon is a reflection of that love for the season all year round. Every day, every minute, and every second. You poor soul.
This weapon is a magical stick shaped like a candy cane, but it's made out of solid metal. The cane is colored in the expected swirling red and white, but at the curve the color scheme distorts slightly as the material switches from metal to rubber. This allows for the cane to be used in two ways; a metal beatstick, and a piece of rubberized, hand-held memory loss. Upon hitting your enemies, the metal edge gives off a high pitched ringing noise, sort of like a bell. The Funeral Parlor emblem is engraved into the bottom of the metal piece of the cane and can be used as a branding tool. Cool advertising, eh?
[b][u]The Christmas Stick[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Club[/i] -- Because sometimes, the spirit of Christmas comes a little late. But that's okay because Christmas is Christmas. This weapon is a reflection of that love for the season all year round. Every day, every minute, and every second. You poor soul.
This weapon is a magical stick shaped like a candy cane, but it's made out of solid metal. The cane is colored in the expected swirling red and white, but at the curve the color scheme distorts slightly as the material switches from metal to rubber. This allows for the cane to be used in two ways; a metal beatstick, and a piece of rubberized, hand-held memory loss. Upon hitting your enemies, the metal edge gives off a high pitched ringing noise, sort of like a bell. The Funeral Parlor emblem is engraved into the bottom of the metal piece of the cane and can be used as a branding tool. Cool advertising, eh?
Christmas Surprise -- Level 10 Clothing Set -- Get into the holiday, reindeer hunting spirit with this once in a lifetime line of clothing produced by the Funeral Parlor to not only make you look good in battle, but to embarrass you at the exact same time! Yes! This fabulous piece of clothing is made out of the finest cloth that money can buy, is hand crafted by our hammer monkey elves, and has been created to suit all of your combat needs~! Tough sleeves to handle your everyday wear and tear, hidden pockets to conceal that crap you don't want the world to see, and a fancy camo pattern to ensure that you won't ever be lost by your friends in the field! This three piece outfit is flashy, sexy, and able to handle a wide range of abuse! With its bright red and green polkadot-striped-wave mix color scheme, you will blend in with absolutely nothing and attract all of monsters you could ever not want! Comprised of a skimpy belly shirt with a deep-V, mid-thigh high booty shorts, bright red stockings, loudly-clattering heeled shoes, and a fancy elf hat (did I mention this is a three piece set?), this Christmas Surprise set is everything Santa's wife could never be! So get out there, strut onto the field like a QUEEEEEEN and show those monsters who's boss! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the left cheek of the shorts. Talk about branding.
((Warning: Wearing this suit will attract every monster in the immediate area because of its flashiness and glamour. Only wear this when you are in a party, are not alone, or are attempting to commit suicide. This may also attract Reindeer that are in heat. So bring protection. The Funeral Parlor is not responsible for any deaths, trauma, or illegitimate children caused by wearing this set. Again, I am not liable for the crap this creates. Good luck. Hope you like venison.))
[b][u]Christmas Surprise[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Clothing Set[/i] -- Get into the holiday, reindeer hunting spirit with this once in a lifetime line of clothing produced by the Funeral Parlor to not only make you look good in battle, but to embarrass you at the exact same time! Yes! This fabulous piece of clothing is made out of the finest cloth that money can buy, is hand crafted by our hammer monkey elves, and has been created to suit all of your combat needs~! Tough sleeves to handle your everyday wear and tear, hidden pockets to conceal that crap you don't want the world to see, and a fancy camo pattern to ensure that you won't ever be lost by your friends in the field! This three piece outfit is flashy, sexy, and able to handle a wide range of abuse! With its bright red and green polkadot-striped-wave mix color scheme, you will blend in with absolutely nothing and attract all of monsters you could ever not want! Comprised of a skimpy belly shirt with a deep-V, mid-thigh high booty shorts, bright red stockings, loudly-clattering heeled shoes, and a fancy elf hat (did I mention this is a three piece set?), this Christmas Surprise set is everything Santa's wife could never be! So get out there, strut onto the field like a QUEEEEEEN and show those monsters who's boss! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the left cheek of the shorts. Talk about branding.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Wearing this suit will attract every monster in the immediate area because of its flashiness and glamour. Only wear this when you are in a party, are not alone, or are attempting to commit suicide. This may also attract Reindeer that are in heat. So bring protection. The Funeral Parlor is not responsible for any deaths, trauma, or illegitimate children caused by wearing this set. Again, I am not liable for the crap this creates. Good luck. Hope you like venison.))[/font][/i]
Noctis Corvo : Your Christmas Weapon of Doom is being fashioned. Prepare yourself. Mean Green -- Level 10 One-Handed Hammer -- When the children won't go to bed normally, drastic measures are necessary. And when those won't work, illegal measures are necessary because until those rats go to bed; you can't go to bed. And if you can't go to bed, then that means you won't get to see Misses Clause. And you need to see Misses Clause because Misses Clauses is currently waiting. Don't make her wait! Break the glass and firmly grab hold of this lovely tool to put your children to sleep for good. This lovely tool, a one-handed block of hardened green rubber on a smoothly polished green handle, is perfect for when the only thing between you and Misses Clause is a swift smack upside the head! The Funeral Parlor emblem has been cut into the wood at the base of the pommel.
((Warning: Do not actually hit children with this thing. That's child abuse and assault with a deadly weapon. Both of those are bad. Discipline, don't hit.))
[b][u]Mean Green[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 One-Handed Hammer[/i] -- When the children won't go to bed normally, drastic measures are necessary. And when those won't work, illegal measures are necessary because until those rats go to bed; you can't go to bed. And if you can't go to bed, then that means you won't get to see Misses Clause. And you need to see Misses Clause because Misses Clauses is currently waiting. Don't make her wait! Break the glass and firmly grab hold of this lovely tool to put your children to sleep [s]for good[/s]. This lovely tool, a one-handed block of hardened green rubber on a smoothly polished green handle, is perfect for when the only thing between you and Misses Clause is a swift smack upside the head! The Funeral Parlor emblem has been cut into the wood at the base of the pommel.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Do not actually hit children with this thing. That's child abuse and assault with a deadly weapon. Both of those are bad. [b]Discipline, don't hit[/b].))[/font][/i]
Vitae -- Incoming sack. Apply oils. Remind me to make your gun later once I research it. For now, have a toy. Toy Gun -- Level 1 Accessory -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
((Warning: Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))
[b][u]Toy Gun[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 1 Accessory[/i] -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))[/font][/i]
A Shocking Experience -- Level 10 One-Handed Hammer -- Zip Zap your enemies with this brilliant new invention of a thing! It's a normal hammer but with an electrical circuit attached to the head! Literally, that's what this is. It's a one-handed hammer with a copper head and a wooden handle. Around the top of the hammer, surrounding the copper, are electrical circuits that charge the copper to give your opponents a light shock with each hit. The electrical circuit only works if your hand is on the handle though, as your hand completes the circuit. Yes. That makes you the battery. Off the bottom of the handle is a strap so you don't fling the thing across the map with each swing. The Funeral Parlor emblem has been cut into the wood at the base of the pommel.
((Warning: Do not lick.))
Reforge: Elemental Weapon Damage [Lightning] - 20%
[b][u]A Shocking Experience[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 One-Handed Hammer[/i] -- Zip Zap your enemies with this brilliant new invention of a thing! It's a normal hammer but with an electrical circuit attached to the head! Literally, that's what this is. It's a one-handed hammer with a copper head and a wooden handle. Around the top of the hammer, surrounding the copper, are electrical circuits that charge the copper to give your opponents a light shock with each hit. The electrical circuit only works if your hand is on the handle though, as your hand completes the circuit. Yes. That makes you the battery. Off the bottom of the handle is a strap so you don't fling the thing across the map with each swing. The Funeral Parlor emblem has been cut into the wood at the base of the pommel.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Do not lick.))[/font][/i]
[i]Reforge: [font color="7b19e6"]Elemental Weapon Damage [font color="fff600"][Lightning][/font] - 20%[/font][/i]
Santa's Lost Hope -- Level 10 Chainmail -- We all know how big Santa is. He's fat. Like, obese fat. But he wasn't always that way! Mrs. Clause remembers when he was skinny and in hopes to help him get back into shape, she had the Smithing Elves create him the best workout tool she could think of! A really, really obnoxiously bright green colored set of chainmail. It is heavily insulated for the cold weather and is meant simply to make Santa sweat off his fat. That was its only purpose and it is not suggested to wear this armor in the Summer. If you do, bring water. The thick reindeer hide that is used to protect the wearer from the chains isn't very good at letting air in or out. The Funeral Parlor is cut into the hide on the lower right hip, beneath the chainmail over the top of it.
Reforge: Increased MP - +2.5%]
[b][u]Santa's Lost Hope[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Chainmail[/i] -- We all know how big Santa is. He's fat. Like, obese fat. But he wasn't always that way! Mrs. Clause remembers when he was skinny and in hopes to help him get back into shape, she had the Smithing Elves create him the best workout tool she could think of! A really, really obnoxiously bright green colored set of chainmail. It is heavily insulated for the cold weather and is meant simply to make Santa sweat off his fat. That was its only purpose and it is not suggested to wear this armor in the Summer. If you do, bring water. The thick reindeer hide that is used to protect the wearer from the chains isn't very good at letting air in or out. The Funeral Parlor is cut into the hide on the lower right hip, beneath the chainmail over the top of it.
[i]Reforge: [font color="32e619"]Increased MP - +2.5%[/font]]
Empyrean : Bruh u think this is a freebie shop? OOHHHHHboy u in fer some shit. Prepare yourself, child. Horse Beatstick -- Level 10 Two Handed Lance -- Because sometimes, you need to lay down the law. The best time to do this is when you're on a horse, because then that shows that you are better than everyone else who doesn't have one, rig--THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT, DON'T QUESTION ME PHEASANT! This weapon, a swirling beauty of green, white, and red, is a massive two-handed lance used simply for smacking your enemies upside the head as you gallop gallantly through the fields of war! Its massive cone body, long shaft with a hook to connect it to your breastplate, and bulged tip make it the best weapon for plowing through any foes that dare get in your way. Who needs to stab or slice when you can just pommel your enemy into submission! Crack their skulls open like a real man! The Funeral Parlor Emblem is etched into the base of the handle.
((Warning: Santa Claus and his workshop do not support violence. The paint scheme is simple because this is a Christmas weapon. That is all. Now go beat up some elves. They won't fight back.))
Reforge: Inflict [Slow] On Hit for 10 Seconds - 2.5% Chance
[b][u]Horse Beatstick[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Two Handed Lance[/i] -- Because sometimes, you need to lay down the law. The best time to do this is when you're on a horse, because then that shows that you are better than everyone else who doesn't have one, rig--THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT, DON'T QUESTION ME PHEASANT! This weapon, a swirling beauty of green, white, and red, is a massive two-handed lance used simply for smacking your enemies upside the head as you gallop gallantly through the fields of war! Its massive cone body, long shaft with a hook to connect it to your breastplate, and bulged tip make it the best weapon for plowing through any foes that dare get in your way. Who needs to stab or slice when you can just pommel your enemy into submission! Crack their skulls open like a real man! The Funeral Parlor Emblem is etched into the base of the handle.
[font color="fc7913"][i](([b]Warning:[/b] Santa Claus and his workshop do not support violence. The paint scheme is simple because this is a Christmas weapon. That is all. Now go beat up some elves. They won't fight back.))[/i][/font]
[i]Reforge: [font color="9c8989"]Inflict [b][Slow][/b] On Hit for 10 Seconds - 2.5% Chance[/font][/i]
Christmas Surprise -- Level 10 Clothing Set -- Get into the holiday, reindeer hunting spirit with this once in a lifetime line of clothing produced by the Funeral Parlor to not only make you look good in battle, but to embarrass you at the exact same time! Yes! This fabulous piece of clothing is made out of the finest cloth that money can buy, is hand crafted by our hammer monkey elves, and has been created to suit all of your combat needs~! Tough sleeves to handle your everyday wear and tear, hidden pockets to conceal that crap you don't want the world to see, and a fancy camo pattern to ensure that you won't ever be lost by your friends in the field! This three piece outfit is flashy, sexy, and able to handle a wide range of abuse! With its bright red and green polkadot-striped-wave mix color scheme, you will blend in with absolutely nothing and attract all of monsters you could ever not want! Comprised of a skimpy belly shirt with a deep-V, mid-thigh high booty shorts, bright red stockings, loudly-clattering heeled shoes, and a fancy elf hat (did I mention this is a three piece set?), this Christmas Surprise set is everything Santa's wife could never be! So get out there, strut onto the field like a QUEEEEEEN and show those monsters who's boss! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the left cheek of the shorts. Talk about branding.
((Warning: Wearing this suit will attract every monster in the immediate area because of its flashiness and glamour. Only wear this when you are in a party, are not alone, or are attempting to commit suicide. This may also attract Reindeer that are in heat. So bring protection. The Funeral Parlor is not responsible for any deaths, trauma, or illegitimate children caused by wearing this set. Again, I am not liable for the crap this creates. Good luck. Hope you like venison.))
Reforge: Movement Speed Increase - 2.5%
[b][u]Christmas Surprise[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Clothing Set[/i] -- Get into the holiday, reindeer hunting spirit with this once in a lifetime line of clothing produced by the Funeral Parlor to not only make you look good in battle, but to embarrass you at the exact same time! Yes! This fabulous piece of clothing is made out of the finest cloth that money can buy, is hand crafted by our hammer monkey elves, and has been created to suit all of your combat needs~! Tough sleeves to handle your everyday wear and tear, hidden pockets to conceal that crap you don't want the world to see, and a fancy camo pattern to ensure that you won't ever be lost by your friends in the field! This three piece outfit is flashy, sexy, and able to handle a wide range of abuse! With its bright red and green polkadot-striped-wave mix color scheme, you will blend in with absolutely nothing and attract all of monsters you could ever not want! Comprised of a skimpy belly shirt with a deep-V, mid-thigh high booty shorts, bright red stockings, loudly-clattering heeled shoes, and a fancy elf hat (did I mention this is a three piece set?), this Christmas Surprise set is everything Santa's wife could never be! So get out there, strut onto the field like a QUEEEEEEN and show those monsters who's boss! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the left cheek of the shorts. Talk about branding.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Wearing this suit will attract every monster in the immediate area because of its flashiness and glamour. Only wear this when you are in a party, are not alone, or are attempting to commit suicide. This may also attract Reindeer that are in heat. So bring protection. The Funeral Parlor is not responsible for any deaths, trauma, or illegitimate children caused by wearing this set. Again, I am not liable for the crap this creates. Good luck. Hope you like venison.))[/font][/i]
[i]Reforge: [font color="32e619"]Movement Speed Increase - 2.5%[/font][/i]
The Mobile Toe -- Level 10 Cape -- Love is in the air! It's always in the air! It's like poison, slowly killing you with lonelinessanddepressionbecauseinthebackofyourmindyouworryaboutalwaysbeingsinglefortherestofyourlife! Oh the hardships of looooooove! Yes! And Santa Claus is here to help, as he always is during this time of year! (It's actually March but let's not get into that). This cloak, made out of reindeer hide, is sure to bring in the ladies! With its bright outer green color, you'll be seen far and wide by every female who isn't color blind! And on the underside, the brilliant red will remind them that you are a quiet, loner Valentine just waiting to be swooped up by a Sadistic woman who is more than willing to grab your belt buckle and tug a little bit. What is sure to help you even more are the jingle bells and the mistletoes all sewn into the edges of the cloak around the neck and shoulder area. The cloak even comes with a fluffy looking hood! With this, you are sure to not be lonely for long! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the inside bottom of the cape.
((Warning: Women who approach you first may be extremely dangerous and only want your stuff. They should be considered enemies. Do not trust their kindness. Repeat, do not trust their kindness.))
Reforges: [Parry] Cast Time Decrease - 0.5 Seconds / [Parry] Cooldown Decrease - 0.5 Seconds]
[b][u]The Mobile Toe[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Cape[/i] -- Love is in the air! It's always in the air! It's like poison, slowly killing you with lonelinessanddepressionbecauseinthebackofyourmindyouworryaboutalwaysbeingsinglefortherestofyourlife! Oh the hardships of looooooove! Yes! And Santa Claus is here to help, as he always is during this time of year! (It's actually March but let's not get into that). This cloak, made out of reindeer hide, is sure to bring in the ladies! With its bright outer green color, you'll be seen far and wide by every female who isn't color blind! And on the underside, the brilliant red will remind them that you are a quiet, loner Valentine just waiting to be swooped up by a Sadistic woman who is more than willing to grab your belt buckle and tug a little bit. What is sure to help you even more are the jingle bells and the mistletoes all sewn into the edges of the cloak around the neck and shoulder area. The cloak even comes with a fluffy looking hood! With this, you are sure to not be lonely for long! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the inside bottom of the cape.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Women who approach you first may be extremely dangerous and only want your stuff. They should be considered enemies. Do not trust their kindness. Repeat, do not trust their kindness.))[/font][/i]
[i]Reforges: [font color="faae0e"][Parry] Cast Time Decrease - 0.5 Seconds[/font] / [font color="faae0e"][Parry] Cooldown Decrease - 0.5 Seconds[/font]][/i]
@shadowsaiph - Jingle Jangle, sawp it's Kris Kringle.
The Special Reindeer Touch -- Level 10 Charm -- Who doesn't like it when the dangly bits make you feel good? This lovely gift comes straight from the stables and after a hot, steamy adventurous night, the Reindeers have decided to share their warmth with the world in the form of a jingling, jangling piece of dangling jewelry. This charm is a little item that you can wear either as an earring, or as a charm on a bracelet or necklace. Why? Well the Reindeers understand that some people like to wear different things, so they used their magic to create a detachable little chain that allows the owner to swap between a loop for the chain, or a pin for the ear. The charm itself is a red orb with small black Reindeer shadows inside of it. As the user moves, the reindeers give off the illusion of moving and swirling inside of the orb. When the wearer is running or under duress, the orb gives off a faint glow and the wearer feels a bit lighter. The Funeral Parlor emblem is a single, subtle link in both chains.
Reforge: Movement Speed Increase - +2.5%]
[b][u]The Special Reindeer Touch[/b][/u] -- [i]Level 10 Charm[/i] -- Who doesn't like it when the dangly bits make you feel good? This lovely gift comes straight from the stables and after a hot, steamy adventurous night, the Reindeers have decided to share their warmth with the world in the form of a jingling, jangling piece of dangling jewelry. This charm is a little item that you can wear either as an earring, or as a charm on a bracelet or necklace. Why? Well the Reindeers understand that some people like to wear different things, so they used their magic to create a detachable little chain that allows the owner to swap between a loop for the chain, or a pin for the ear. The charm itself is a red orb with small black Reindeer shadows inside of it. As the user moves, the reindeers give off the illusion of moving and swirling inside of the orb. When the wearer is running or under duress, the orb gives off a faint glow and the wearer feels a bit lighter. The Funeral Parlor emblem is a single, subtle link in both chains.
[i]Reforge: [font color="32e619"]Movement Speed Increase - +2.5%[/font]][/i]
@saiph - Don't shoot no one's eyes out, k? K. See you in jail.
Toy Gun -- Level 1 Accessory -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
((Warning: Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))
[b][u]Toy Gun[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 1 Accessory[/i] -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))[/font][/i]
@sugarygiggles - Lookie lookie, Arty, the sword you've always wanted!
Candy Cane Staff -- Level 10 Bo Staff -- What would Christmas be without a bit of shenanigans from the Elves?! The little runts are up to it again and after reading through the Christmas "want" and "need" list, they've come up with another way to upset the children of the world! Their next trick? A multi-colored swirling rod with a point. This long, slender, white-red-and-green colored rod is six feet long with absolutely no firm way to hold onto the stupid thing. It's slick, slender, and slippery all the way up and down its shaft so you might want to look into getting some kind of grip for it! At both ends of the rod, the straight object narrows off to a very sharp tip, shaped much like a cone, which makes it difficult to balance unless you're sticking it straight into the ground. But hey! If you get good with it, at least you can poke at your enemies! The Funeral Parlor Emblem is expertly carved into the center of the pole, but has been glossed over to keep it from disrupting the weapon's "grip".
Reforge: Magic Damage Increase - 2.5%
[b][u]Candy Cane Staff[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Bo Staff[/i] -- What would Christmas be without a bit of shenanigans from the Elves?! The little runts are up to it again and after reading through the Christmas "want" and "need" list, they've come up with another way to upset the children of the world! Their next trick? A multi-colored swirling rod with a point. This long, slender, white-red-and-green colored rod is six feet long with absolutely no firm way to hold onto the stupid thing. It's slick, slender, and slippery all the way up and down its shaft so you might want to look into getting some kind of grip for it! At both ends of the rod, the straight object narrows off to a very sharp tip, shaped much like a cone, which makes it difficult to balance unless you're sticking it straight into the ground. But hey! If you get good with it, at least you can poke at your enemies! The Funeral Parlor Emblem is expertly carved into the center of the pole, but has been glossed over to keep it from disrupting the weapon's "grip".
[i]Reforge: [font color="7b19e6"]Magic Damage Increase - 2.5%[/font][/i]
Icyferno - Here's something queer to bring you holiday cheer, but you should probably have a little fear. The wilds, you should not near, as this is a bunch of useless gear. Good luck, Iceball! The Mobile Toe -- Level 20 Cape -- Love is in the air! It's always in the air! It's like poison, slowly killing you with lonelinessanddepressionbecauseinthebackofyourmindyouworryaboutalwaysbeingsinglefortherestofyourlife! Oh the hardships of looooooove! Yes! And Santa Claus is here to help, as he always is during this time of year! (It's actually March but let's not get into that). This cloak, made out of reindeer hide, is sure to bring in the ladies! With its bright outer green color, you'll be seen far and wide by every female who isn't color blind! And on the underside, the brilliant red will remind them that you are a quiet, loner Valentine just waiting to be swooped up by a Sadistic woman who is more than willing to grab your belt buckle and tug a little bit. What is sure to help you even more are the jingle bells and the mistletoes all sewn into the edges of the cloak around the neck and shoulder area. The cloak even comes with a fluffy looking hood! With this, you are sure to not be lonely for long! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the inside bottom of the cape.
((Warning: Women who approach you first may be extremely dangerous and only want your stuff. They should be considered enemies. Do not trust their kindness. Repeat, do not trust their kindness.))
[b][u]The Mobile Toe[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Cape[/i] -- Love is in the air! It's always in the air! It's like poison, slowly killing you with lonelinessanddepressionbecauseinthebackofyourmindyouworryaboutalwaysbeingsinglefortherestofyourlife! Oh the hardships of looooooove! Yes! And Santa Claus is here to help, as he always is during this time of year! (It's actually March but let's not get into that). This cloak, made out of reindeer hide, is sure to bring in the ladies! With its bright outer green color, you'll be seen far and wide by every female who isn't color blind! And on the underside, the brilliant red will remind them that you are a quiet, loner Valentine just waiting to be swooped up by a Sadistic woman who is more than willing to grab your belt buckle and tug a little bit. What is sure to help you even more are the jingle bells and the mistletoes all sewn into the edges of the cloak around the neck and shoulder area. The cloak even comes with a fluffy looking hood! With this, you are sure to not be lonely for long! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the inside bottom of the cape.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Women who approach you first may be extremely dangerous and only want your stuff. They should be considered enemies. Do not trust their kindness. Repeat, do not trust their kindness.))[/font][/i]
The Elf's Workshop Gloves -- Level 10 Cloth Accessory -- When laboring over the useless crap for a bunch of snobby brats, a good worker needs to have something to make the pain hurt a lot less. "Gloves! Gloves!" They cried, and the mean ol' Santa obliged. Padded palms, guarded knuckles, and even a bit over the wrist to protect them from the shackles. What's worse was that they were mittens! He gave them mittens to cover their fingers, and to make it harder to hold their hammers. It was his greatest gift of all, and he shared the gloves with the entire North Pole. He laughed at them, laughed at their despair! But have no fear! One smart Elf learned to not care. He threw away his gloves and worked without so much as a tear, because deep in his heart he remembered to always share. He remembered a fellow who asked for protection from the dangers of his life, from the dangers of dealing with acidic spice. "Perfect, perfect!" he thought, as he threw the gloves into a box. Away they went, gone from his face, to where they would be loved by a Pharmacist with high expectations in place.
The gloves are a set of green mittens with white, laughing Santa faces circling the wrist. The palms and knuckles are padded and the fabric over the wrists is a little bit long, with loops made that were created to work like belt loops, but for chains. The Funeral Parlor emblem is threaded into the inside of the wrists.
[b][u]The Elf's Workshop Gloves[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Cloth Accessory[/i] -- When laboring over the useless crap for a bunch of snobby brats, a good worker needs to have something to make the pain hurt a lot less. [i]"Gloves! Gloves!"[/i] They cried, and the mean ol' Santa obliged. Padded palms, guarded knuckles, and even a bit over the wrist to protect them from the shackles. What's worse was that they were mittens! He gave them mittens to cover their fingers, and to make it harder to hold their hammers. It was his greatest gift of all, and he shared the gloves with the entire North Pole. He laughed at them, laughed at their despair! But have no fear! One smart Elf learned to not care. He threw away his gloves and worked without so much as a tear, because deep in his heart he remembered to always share. He remembered a fellow who asked for protection from the dangers of his life, from the dangers of dealing with acidic spice. "Perfect, perfect!" he thought, as he threw the gloves into a box. Away they went, gone from his face, to where they would be loved by a Pharmacist with high expectations in place.
The gloves are a set of green mittens with white, laughing Santa faces circling the wrist. The palms and knuckles are padded and the fabric over the wrists is a little bit long, with loops made that were created to work like belt loops, but for chains. The Funeral Parlor emblem is threaded into the inside of the wrists.
Toy Gun -- Level 1 Accessory -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
((Warning: Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))
[b][u]Toy Gun[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 1 Accessory[/i] -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))[/font][/i]
The Christmas Stick -- Level 10 Club -- Because sometimes, the spirit of Christmas comes a little late. But that's okay because Christmas is Christmas. This weapon is a reflection of that love for the season all year round. Every day, every minute, and every second. You poor soul.
This weapon is a magical stick shaped like a candy cane, but it's made out of solid metal. The cane is colored in the expected swirling red and white, but at the curve the color scheme distorts slightly as the material switches from metal to rubber. This allows for the cane to be used in two ways; a metal beatstick, and a piece of rubberized, hand-held memory loss. Upon hitting your enemies, the metal edge gives off a high pitched ringing noise, sort of like a bell. The Funeral Parlor emblem is engraved into the bottom of the metal piece of the cane and can be used as a branding tool. Cool advertising, eh?
[b][u]The Christmas Stick[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Club[/i] -- Because sometimes, the spirit of Christmas comes a little late. But that's okay because Christmas is Christmas. This weapon is a reflection of that love for the season all year round. Every day, every minute, and every second. You poor soul.
This weapon is a magical stick shaped like a candy cane, but it's made out of solid metal. The cane is colored in the expected swirling red and white, but at the curve the color scheme distorts slightly as the material switches from metal to rubber. This allows for the cane to be used in two ways; a metal beatstick, and a piece of rubberized, hand-held memory loss. Upon hitting your enemies, the metal edge gives off a high pitched ringing noise, sort of like a bell. The Funeral Parlor emblem is engraved into the bottom of the metal piece of the cane and can be used as a branding tool. Cool advertising, eh?
Kaos - Do do a dollop! Enjoy your Christmas in March! Christmas Surprise -- Level 10 Clothing Set -- Get into the holiday, reindeer hunting spirit with this once in a lifetime line of clothing produced by the Funeral Parlor to not only make you look good in battle, but to embarrass you at the exact same time! Yes! This fabulous piece of clothing is made out of the finest cloth that money can buy, is hand crafted by our hammer monkey elves, and has been created to suit all of your combat needs~! Tough sleeves to handle your everyday wear and tear, hidden pockets to conceal that crap you don't want the world to see, and a fancy camo pattern to ensure that you won't ever be lost by your friends in the field! This three piece outfit is flashy, sexy, and able to handle a wide range of abuse! With its bright red and green polkadot-striped-wave mix color scheme, you will blend in with absolutely nothing and attract all of monsters you could ever not want! Comprised of a skimpy belly shirt with a deep-V, mid-thigh high booty shorts, bright red stockings, loudly-clattering heeled shoes, and a fancy elf hat (did I mention this is a three piece set?), this Christmas Surprise set is everything Santa's wife could never be! So get out there, strut onto the field like a QUEEEEEEN and show those monsters who's boss! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the left cheek of the shorts. Talk about branding.
((Warning: Wearing this suit will attract every monster in the immediate area because of its flashiness and glamour. Only wear this when you are in a party, are not alone, or are attempting to commit suicide. This may also attract Reindeer that are in heat. So bring protection. The Funeral Parlor is not responsible for any deaths, trauma, or illegitimate children caused by wearing this set. Again, I am not liable for the crap this creates. Good luck. Hope you like venison.))
Reforge: [Summon Follower - Skeleton] MP Cost Decrease - 5%]
[b][u]Christmas Surprise[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Clothing Set[/i] -- Get into the holiday, reindeer hunting spirit with this once in a lifetime line of clothing produced by the Funeral Parlor to not only make you look good in battle, but to embarrass you at the exact same time! Yes! This fabulous piece of clothing is made out of the finest cloth that money can buy, is hand crafted by our hammer monkey elves, and has been created to suit all of your combat needs~! Tough sleeves to handle your everyday wear and tear, hidden pockets to conceal that crap you don't want the world to see, and a fancy camo pattern to ensure that you won't ever be lost by your friends in the field! This three piece outfit is flashy, sexy, and able to handle a wide range of abuse! With its bright red and green polkadot-striped-wave mix color scheme, you will blend in with absolutely nothing and attract all of monsters you could ever not want! Comprised of a skimpy belly shirt with a deep-V, mid-thigh high booty shorts, bright red stockings, loudly-clattering heeled shoes, and a fancy elf hat (did I mention this is a three piece set?), this Christmas Surprise set is everything Santa's wife could never be! So get out there, strut onto the field like a QUEEEEEEN and show those monsters who's boss! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the left cheek of the shorts. Talk about branding.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Wearing this suit will attract every monster in the immediate area because of its flashiness and glamour. Only wear this when you are in a party, are not alone, or are attempting to commit suicide. This may also attract Reindeer that are in heat. So bring protection. The Funeral Parlor is not responsible for any deaths, trauma, or illegitimate children caused by wearing this set. Again, I am not liable for the crap this creates. Good luck. Hope you like venison.))[/font][/i]
[i]Reforge: [font color="faae0e"][Summon Follower - Skeleton] MP Cost Decrease - 5%[/font]]
Toy Gun -- Level 1 Accessory -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
((Warning: Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))
[b][u]Toy Gun[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 1 Accessory[/i] -- The Funeral Parlor is a lazy mess this season and because of that, it's fatty of a crafting collective decided to fall behind on their research. Due to this, guns have not been produced. Sorry mate! Instead though, our monkeys have specially prepared a replacement that they could actually make! It looks like a gun, acts like a gun, and smells like a gun, but it shoots like a water hose without pressure. This toy pistol is a glistening piece of crystal and metal combined to create a replica of an actual flintlock pistol. However instead of shooting balls of lead, a flag with the word "BANG!" pops out of the muzzle. To reload, push the flag back into the barrel! The thing even backfires every now and then! It's what you ever wanted! A fire hazard. The Funeral Parlor emblem is cut into the crystal on the left side of the handle.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Don't use the flag to shoot your friend in the eye. It's not a bullet but it'll hurt.))[/font][/i]
The Mobile Toe -- Level 10 Cape -- Love is in the air! It's always in the air! It's like poison, slowly killing you with lonelinessanddepressionbecauseinthebackofyourmindyouworryaboutalwaysbeingsinglefortherestofyourlife! Oh the hardships of looooooove! Yes! And Santa Claus is here to help, as he always is during this time of year! (It's actually March but let's not get into that). This cloak, made out of reindeer hide, is sure to bring in the ladies! With its bright outer green color, you'll be seen far and wide by every female who isn't color blind! And on the underside, the brilliant red will remind them that you are a quiet, loner Valentine just waiting to be swooped up by a Sadistic woman who is more than willing to grab your belt buckle and tug a little bit. What is sure to help you even more are the jingle bells and the mistletoes all sewn into the edges of the cloak around the neck and shoulder area. The cloak even comes with a fluffy looking hood! With this, you are sure to not be lonely for long! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the inside bottom of the cape.
((Warning: Women who approach you first may be extremely dangerous and only want your stuff. They should be considered enemies. Do not trust their kindness. Repeat, do not trust their kindness.))
Reforge: [Summon Follower - Carbuncle] MP Cost Decrease - 5%]
[b][u]The Mobile Toe[/u][/b] -- [i]Level 10 Cape[/i] -- Love is in the air! It's always in the air! It's like poison, slowly killing you with lonelinessanddepressionbecauseinthebackofyourmindyouworryaboutalwaysbeingsinglefortherestofyourlife! Oh the hardships of looooooove! Yes! And Santa Claus is here to help, as he always is during this time of year! (It's actually March but let's not get into that). This cloak, made out of reindeer hide, is sure to bring in the ladies! With its bright outer green color, you'll be seen far and wide by every female who isn't color blind! And on the underside, the brilliant red will remind them that you are a quiet, loner Valentine just waiting to be swooped up by a Sadistic woman who is more than willing to grab your belt buckle and tug a little bit. What is sure to help you even more are the jingle bells and the mistletoes all sewn into the edges of the cloak around the neck and shoulder area. The cloak even comes with a fluffy looking hood! With this, you are sure to not be lonely for long! The Funeral Parlor emblem is sewn into the inside bottom of the cape.
[i][font color="fc7913"](([b]Warning:[/b] Women who approach you first may be extremely dangerous and only want your stuff. They should be considered enemies. Do not trust their kindness. Repeat, do not trust their kindness.))[/font][/i]
[i]Reforge: [font color="faae0e"][Summon Follower - Carbuncle] MP Cost Decrease - 5%[/font]]
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